At a cacao circle I was at recently, the topic of discussion was: What holds us back from using our voices? What are we afraid would happen if we spoke up?
Which is funny because as soon as she asks who would like to share first, I’m immediately hoping someone else will talk so I won't have to.
I have always felt like this. It takes me back to being in school when I was younger, praying the teacher wouldn't call on me, and it’s still something I struggle with today.
Why Do We Hide Our Voices?
We all have our reasons.
I have swallowed my words and hold back what I want to say because of the fear of judgement. I worry what you’ll think. I worry I will be misunderstood. I worry I’ll sound stupid.
(I talk more about negative thought patterns like this, in this post: Breaking Samskaras and Reversing Negative Thoughts )
And then there’s another worry, I worry you won’t like me.
I hate admitting this.
This one is dangerous because it can lead us to shape-shifting and morphing ourselves into something we aren't, for approval from others. This manifests as saying things we don't mean, or acting in ways that aren't true to ourselves. These are things we do when we are disconnected from our true nature.
The way back to yourself is through self expression.
When we are having trouble expressing ourselves, we want to bring our focus to the throat chakra.
The Throat Chakra and Self Expression:
Whenever I’ve had to talk in front of a group, or have a hard conversation, I experience this constricting tightness inside my throat. Which is no surprise because that’s the home of our throat chakra, the energetic channel that rules our self expression.
We can think of the throat chakra is a bridge between our feelings (heart chakra) and our thoughts (third eye chakra). When this area is blocked or energy is stagnant here, we find it really hard to speak our truth.
Our voice is a muscle that must be used in order to thrive. Every time we speak up about how we feel, or have the courage to ask for what we want, or share our thoughts, our throat chakra is activated and open.
When we start showing up for ourselves this way, things start to shift and energy begins flowing freely again.
Speak like a Yogi:
Practice Ahimsa (non-harm) with our words not to hurt others. And being mindful of how we speak to ourselves too.
Practice Satya (truthfulness) with our words by telling the truth, and not changing our words to cater to others opinions of you
Practice Asteya (non-stealing) by not over-talking, or stealing the opportunity from others to talk.
The Power of Connecting with Others
Back to the circle. I definitely wasn't the first to speak up. Someone else spoke up first, and when she did I resonated with her feelings and I admired how open she was being in her sharing. Doing so, she made me feel a little more comfortable sharing myself. She unknowingly gave me permission to be myself.
When I did share, my heart started thumping in my ears and my throat got tight, all the familiar feelings, except I didn't let them stop me, I pushed through. Because I know what I have to say matters.
This is the type of magic I find in every circle I attend. If she hadn't shared first, and spoken in the way she did...if she had hidden behind a deceptive mask, the rest of us may not have opened up and shared the way we had. We are all connected. So when you speak from the heart, it’s not just for your benefit, it's to shine a light to those around you and let them know it's okay to be themselves.
The right conversations with the right people lead us back to ourselves and helps us to find the answers we are searching for.
What you have to say is valuable to others
“Be authentic and gloriously flawed”
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