Let me ramble to you about having anxiety, staying true to you and following your dreams...
I had so much fear leading up to sharing this blog with the world.
Every day I have been saying things to myself like:
How are you going to act like you can help anyone when you haven't even fixed yourself?
People are going to think your full of shit.
Everyone has a blog. What makes you special?
You don’t have any services to offer.
You don't have webinars or free printables or giveaways.
What if no one even reads it?
What if they read it and decide not to subscribe?
What if I launch it prematurely and there’s a bunch of mistakes?
What I remind myself when I start drowning in all that negative self talk is:
You have to start somewhere. Just start.
You can continue what if-ing and analyzing things to death, for days and days on end, and never accomplish anything... Or you could just take a leap of faith, push the share button, and be done with it.
People are always like “don't worry what anyone else thinks, who cares…” I’ve even thrown those annoying words at others, even though I know it doesn’t work like that.
As someone who has worried what other people think of me my entire life, I’ll tell you:
It’s impossible to just stop caring, because someone tells you to.
I think that something like that has to be shed over time, unraveling it layer by layer. (Clearly still working on it.)
The problem is, we are our own worst critics. No one is as consumed with us and we are with ourselves. We could keep sneering all this degrading and self-doubting garbage to ourselves until we give up on our dreams and watch Netflix all day, OR... we could just say fuck you to the evil little person on our shoulder, and choose to believe in ourselves. What do we really have to lose?
There's always going to be someone who doesn't like you, or something you created. There's always going to be haters, people who question your motives and people who flat out don’t have your back. That’s fine. Everyone in the world doesn't have to like you. The most important person you need to have like you, is you. Without that, you will never stop questioning your worth. Love yo damn self.
Most of us have been through some dark times at some point in our lives. Some of us more than others. Maybe one day I’ll have the courage to talk more in depth about mine, maybe not. Either way, oh man, I have been there. That’s kinda the point of this.
I just want to share what little I know, things I’m still learning, my experiences, and some things you can do to feel happier and to help you figure out where the hell to start. Or at the very least, maybe you’ll just feel better knowing there’s someone else out there as messed up as you. Me.
Let’s not get caught up in trying to find life long happiness. Just do what you can to create a happier present moment. Or, maybe just scratch being happy all together if it's too much pressure. I get it. Maybe just strive for a more bearable moment. The present moment is really all we have anyways.
That realization is what got me to the point today where I feel ready to take my leap of faith.
So what if people hate it. So what if people hate me. I don’t have all the answers, and I’m not claiming to. I may not where I want to be but I’ve come a long way from where I was. I just want to share who I am, flaws and all. I feel ready to let people know the real me, the soul inside or the girl in the yoga selfies. A human just like you. One that hurts and has fears, who gets pissed off and who gets consumed by racing thoughts, a person who falls down and then gets back up again, every damn day.
I’m really just striving for authenticity. I never want to sound like a know it all or like I’m full of myself because I am neither. I’m just tired of trying to be what I think everyone else wants me to be, I want to embrace who I am and what I feel, and I think you should also.
The truth is, I’m really proud of myself for what I created, I’m choosing to own who I am and to remember that I am enough, whether or not anyone gives a shit about my blog. Can I get an Amen?