This July, despite all my self-doubts and fears, I'm going to learn how to be a yoga teacher.
I'm intimidated, inspired, apprehensive and eager all at the same time.
For months leading up to applying and being accepted into the program, I watched what seemed like literally everyone around me go through all these positive life changes, while I felt more stuck in my own life than ever.
When I received the email congratulating me on my acceptance into the program, I immediately welled up with tears. I was overwhelmed with emotions and buckets of gratitude.
Crazy things start happening when you choose to believe in yourself.
I've never really known what my calling was.
I've been working as a hairstylist for the past 10 years, and it's had its moments, but I've just never felt like doing hair was my "passion".
I started doing yoga as a way of coping with my depression and anxiety symptoms. Living with those two evils for most of my life has put an enormous amount of stress on my mind and body. I wasn’t happy with my current body or mind state, so I decided to start doing
yoga as a form of exercise.
At first, I wanted to get flexible enough to do all the cool advanced poses that I saw on Instagram, #GOALS. So I started practicing at home every day on YouTube and taking photos to gauge my progress.
Then something weird happened.
I started changing. I started feeling more balanced, in a way that was completely foreign to me.
Then came the insight:
There is so much more to yoga than these poses. There is spirituality and wisdom weaved all throughout it.
It was exactly what I was missing.
I can't pinpoint the one day or single moment that it happened, but once I found that insight, I was officially bitten by the yoga bug. It was like a missing puzzle piece clicking into place.
I came to yoga looking for exercise and stress relief
and stumbled upon a new way of life.
I found myself at the library checking out every book they had on yoga, and started spending most of my free time doing yoga or reading about it. When I started a binder and began taking notes on the book The seven spiritual laws of yoga, just for my own personal interest, I thought to myself - either I'm crazy or I’m ready to go to a teacher training. I think I might've found my thing.
The program I will be attending is the Namaslay® Yoga Teacher Training led by Candace, a international yoga instructor, who I began my home practice with on youtube. If your interested, you can read more about her and her business here.
I credit Candace and free YouTube yoga for my ability to actually do yoga every day. I would never be able to afford to a take a class at a studio every day, nor would my schedule allow for it. Being able to roll out of bed and do one of her videos in the comfort of my own home is really how I became so dedicated.
One day I noticed Candace post something about doing a yoga teacher training. My initial reaction was something like “wow, that would be so cool but I’m probably not advanced enough.” I decided to look into it anyways, out of curiosity, and it really caught my attention when I read this statement:
We'd much prefer someone with an open mind who can't do x, y or z pose, than someone who is closed minded but has the perfect handstand.
It’s like she read my mind. Her words resonated with me so much, I decided to muster up the courage to apply.
Oh by the way, it’ll be taking place in Thailand…!?!?!
Yep. I will be staying in a foreign country on the other side of the globe for four weeks.
When I learned of the location, I initially thought "I'm out."
because of the following lies I told myself in my mind:
I can't fly anywhere that far away
I can't travel by myself
I won't be able to afford it
My husband will not want me to go so far, for so long
My job will never let me take so much vacation time
I'll never get accepted anyways
But then I got to thinking...
Wouldn't it be cool if I stopped telling myself no all the time?
What would it look like if I did go?
How cool would it be to step outside my box and go on
a soul searching journey?
Maybe my whole life has been leading me up to this point?
Isn't change all about breaking down my walls, and challenging myself?
So here I go.
The Big Picture
None of us are finished products.
I don’t really know my full plan for after I complete teacher training. I have a whole bunch of ideas swarming through my head but nothing is concrete yet. I think that path will unfold in the near future, and while I’m definitely not slowing down anytime soon, I also am not going to rush it or try to force anything. For once.
What I do know, is that I want to use yoga to help others who are struggling with life.
I can relate to people who feel lost, broken, and hopeless. I have used all of those words to describe myself also. I know that it won't be for everyone, but I hope I can open even just a few peoples eyes to the possibility of change.
Yes, yoga is a great way to exercise your body, but the true magic of yoga is what it does for your mind.
I hope by sharing my experiences, and the nuggets of wisdom I'm picking up along the way, that I can help others find courage and inspiration to be who they want to be, to feel at home in their body, to feel at home on this earth, and to live their lives fully.